There is perhaps nothing more depressing than going back through my entires from the last year and a half. Well, for one, there were only 37 of them. For another, there were next to no comments, so I just manually (manually being cut and past and reset dates by hand) migrated the lot of them from ExpressionEngine to WordPress.
But the most depressing of all? How hopeful I have been, and how, reading between the blog entries and listening in the months’ long silences, I realize have let myself down.
I’ve done a damn fine job of documenting my positives. The good days are all there. But what are missing are the bad days. And what is glaring is how many days are missing. MONTHS of days.
There’s a major shift going on right now. My own personal tectonic plates are moving around, bumping and grinding and eroding and creating rivers and mountains. I’m learning that my own landscape is pretty spectacular on its own, but it’s taking a while to climb high enough to be able to admire the view.
Does that make ANY sense?
I’ve migrated the archives. I’ll at some point probably republish a very few entries from them here, in this new space. There’s no need in sharing with you how many times I’ve promised myself that this time, this will still – “this” being everything from blogging to C25K to going gluten-free (not abandoned, but put on hold).
It has, however, taught me something. That is, the only way I’m going to follow through – with this or with anything – is to be daring. I have to step out of my box, try something new, take a deep breath, and just jump in with both feet.
I have to be {long exaggerated gasp} … {pause for dramatic effect} … authentic.
Whaddaconcept.
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